How much of loneliness is conditioned? As a society, we work together. We need each other. It’s often difficult for us to deal with being alone. But what are we afraid of? Perhaps it’s missing out on the satisfaction that confiding in another brings us. We need this reinforcement to feel loved and that our thoughts and actions are of importance.

People love to talk. Few enjoy listening. Listening opens the door to creativity. We can learn so much from each other. If I were writing a book (which I plan to do one of these days), that would be one of my greatest lessons learned in life thus far.

I remember being 10 years old sitting on the steps at home recounting a story to my dad when he quietly said, “be more of a listener.” These words resonated with me and I often think back to that day.

We can be whoever we want to be. It’s so simple. I like to live life as a party, therefore I know wherever I go, I’ll have a great time because I’m with myself, my party. I prefer being around people but I know that being alone is a necessary part of life every once in a while. I’ve found patience to be much of a virtue here. When I’m alone, I know I’ll be with friends, family, and people soon enough so I don’t let loneliness define my current state of riding solo. If we can master accepting ourselves, we can find solitude, become better listeners, and reap the benefits of this rich world we live in.

Loving ourselves is not an easy task to achieve. With work though, it can be accomplished and it’s an amazing thing. If we don’t love ourselves, how do we expect others to love us or enjoy our company? Cultivate self-awareness through positivity.

Make yourself fall in love with your body.


Make yourself fall in love with your listening self.


Make yourself fall in love with your whole self and the characteristics that make you fun.


And if nothing else,


“Being solitary is being alone well: being alone luxuriously immersed in doings of your own choice, aware of the fullness of your own choice, aware of the fullness of your won presence rather than of the absence of others. Because solitude is an achievement.” –Alice Koller

And that concludes today’s thoughts on Cookie Dough KatZEN! 😉

What are your thoughts on solitude and loneliness?

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19 thoughts on “Solitude

  1. Francene Katzen says:

    I really love my alone time-think its good for the sole and mind-its something about the quiet in ones home that brings peace to the mind. Really LOVE this blog today!!! Keep up the great writing Cookie Dough! xoxo

  2. I love my alone time…I grew up as an only child so I find peace in solitude…kind of like my time with God, esp while I’m running 🙂

  3. Taryn says:

    Lots of good stuff in this post, but this is my favorite: “Make yourself fall in love with your whole self and the characteristics that make you fun.” Easier said than done, but oh-so important!

  4. I think it comes from being an only child tell my mom remarried when I was already in college but I love alone time. I think learning to be comfortable with yourself is important!

  5. Growing up an only child probably helped me be able to be alone and enjoy it. Although my friends were always over, I always liked being left alone and doing my own thing on occasion. I got married in my early 20’s and it was a bit of an adjustment getting divorced and being “alone” versus always being with my other half. Now I can actually say I enjoy my alone time and when my son is away for the weekend, I don’t even rush to make sure I have plans. I am thrilled to be left alone to do whatever I want, even if all I want to do is nothing!

  6. moderngirlnutrition says:

    I like that quote of “Be more of a listener”. Cool post!

  7. Kaitlin says:

    This is a very interesting subject and I’m glad you brought it up. I’m struggling with it as I start to leave the college world. I’ve always been more independent but felt maybe this detracted from my college experience. I love to be around people and love to listen, but feel like everyone isn’t always open to meeting new people or even sharing. Not sure what to think 🙂

  8. The fullness of your own presence rather than the absence of others… I love that. I actually really relish my alone time – I feel like I need it to keep me sane. If I had to be around people all the time, or even come back to a home where someone else was living with me, I’m honestly not sure how I’d handle it.

  9. pickyrunner says:

    I love being by myself and I look forward to it every summer when the majority of my day is spent alone but there are times when I crave conversations. At school I tend to get lonely when my roommate isn’t around for days at a time because I expect it. It’s all about finding that balance but being content with yourself is definitely key!

  10. Courtney says:

    Great post 🙂 I’m totally into alone time, too.

  11. jessielovestorun says:

    Great post. Loved all of the photos you shared. You are just awesome, Alex ❤

  12. Meredith says:

    Loved this post! Great quotes to live by. I think alone time is important for our heads and our hearts. I try to have at least 1 alone night per week to clear my head!

  13. I agree, great post!! Very deep and so much thought. Great things to hear and be reminded of. Can’t wait to read your book, someday! 🙂

  14. Abby says:

    LOVE all these quotes! You made soooo many good points here, I especially like the piece on being alone and knowing that you will soon see others. Self Respect brings so many things. Have a wonderful Thursday, Alex!

  15. It’s funny that I read this today because I just came back from my first ever visit to NYC and I don’t think there is EVER any alone time there! I feel just about like you do though, I’m kinda like my own little party, and while I really do enjoy being around other people that I know and love and people that are complete strangers, I think the fact that I don’t have to have them there to be happy makes me content with who I am. Love this post 🙂

  16. Joey Katzen says:

    I call it “Joey time,” and if I go more than a few days without an hour or two on my own to unwind and read (news/blogs) and check email leisurely, I start to go a little crazy. I’m told I won’t get any more “Joey time” if I ever have kids, ha ha. Hope it’s not true.

    +1 on the listening more. I could always use a reminder on that.

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